Letting Her Go

I've been reading Will Schwalbe's The End of Your Life Book Club since January. It is taking me a long time to read.

Why?

Most profoundly, I've enjoyed reading this one in courses, taking the time to digest what I've read before tasting more. Schwalbe's sentiments on reading and being someone's child are especially thought provoking. For example, from pages 31-2:

"These two books showed us that no matter where Mom and I were on our individual journeys, we could still share books, and while reading those books, we wouldn't be the sick person and the well person; we would simply be a mother and a son entering new worlds together."

I love to enter new worlds together with others. George R. R. Martin with my brothers. John Sandford with my dad. Classic novels and Shakespeare plays with my students. Current hot writing, old favorites, and global/historical novels with my book club. Nonfiction with my own mother. It's my favorite part of reading, entering a new world. And to do so with others is icing on the cake.

But, of course, I always feel guilty reading-for-pleasure when there is reading-for-work (editing, scoring) to be done. And as soon as the pile of student essays and such becomes manageable, it grows again like mold. Noxious, stifling mold. This is not only why the Schwalbe has been slow going, but to a great degree the reason SPOTD volume 3 is on the back burner despite my hopes that I'd be able to finish it by January 1, 2013.

Finally, and perhaps most subtly, there is the book itself. I'm not willing to let Mrs. Schwalbe go. I'm pretty sure that hospice is a few turns of the page away for the fierce mother, grandmother, activist, and all-around amazing lady. If I stop now, she can continue her fight against pancreatic cancer and never succumb.

This is not my first time hesitating to approach a climax. While I'm perfectly happy to continue reading Romeo and Juliet beyond 3.4's morning of nightingales and larks, letting them stumble their way toward their dooms, I remember a book (though not the title) where the romantic couple were blissfully happy, and I left them honeymooning in Italy for almost a year because I knew the sweetness would be short lived without my intervention.

Sigh.

Square up? Check.

The Wild Rumpus book signing last weekend was delightful. Thanks to all who made the trip to Minneapolis to hug and browse and listen and pet and chat.

Our first visitor, Cousin Gabi, with Jordan and me at our table.

Thanks to my helper of the day, Jordan, I can now accept payment by credit card through the Squareup device on my phone. Slick device. I feel professional!

Now if I can just figure out how to renew my company website hosting contract without paying renewal rates (instead of the intro rates)...

Blizzard.

It may not have been so horrid in the Twin Cities, but out here on the plain, people pretty much stayed home last weekend. And thus, our event was cancelled.

And I have to admit, I loved it.

Curses on those of you looking forward to spring and all its mud-lusciousness, warmer temps and the getting outside again, the disappearance of all this wonderfully clean and bright snow. The world is white, the fireplace is on, and I can be found under my coziest blanket, nose-deep in a new book.

The book signing at the Wild Rumpus has tentatively been rescheduled for next weekend, the 24th, from noon to 5:00. Hope to see many friends there!

The Blizzard, or No Blizzard?

Tomorrow is my planned book reading and signing from noon to 5:00 at the Wild Rumpus in the Linden Hills neighborhood of Minneapolis.

I'll be sharing the "stage" with wonderful Lake Harriet Community School middle school ensemble musicians and, of course, Trini Lopez the cat, Ethel the chicken, Amelia the chinchilla, and all the other kid-friendly pets who reside at the store.

Although I shouldn't be, I'm nervous...

Not for the reading. Reading aloud? It's what I do. Most recently, the climactic (or anti-climactic) ending moment of "The Lady, or the Tiger?" in English 9 class, Holden Caulfield's chapter 26 final assessment of sharing his story in English 12, and the poem "A Blessing" by James Wright in AP English. But also Easter program narration at my church, grand march names at MHS prom, a quote for Shannah Anderson's Native American literature presentation at the 2013 MELT. Whatever, wherever.

As long as I have a script, I love to give voice to words.

Not for the venue. It's such an adorable, purple-doored space. And what book lover wouldn't thrill to visit an actual independent bookstore these days, much less be an invited guest?

Not for the company. Several college roommates, Facebook friends I haven't seen face to face in years, my nephew Jordan, and random strangers are expected. Come one, come all!

I'm nervous because of these words. Take it, Intellicast:

...WINTER STORM WARNING IN EFFECT FROM MIDNIGHT TONIGHT TO 6 PM
CST SUNDAY...
...BLIZZARD WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM SUNDAY EVENING THROUGH
MONDAY AFTERNOON...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN TWIN CITIES/CHANHASSEN HAS ISSUED
A WINTER STORM WARNING FOR HEAVY SNOW...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM
MIDNIGHT TONIGHT TO 6 PM CST SUNDAY. A BLIZZARD WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT 
FROM SUNDAY EVENING THROUGH MONDAY AFTERNOON.

* SNOW ACCUMULATIONS: 8 TO 12 INCHES.

* TIMING: SNOW WILL BEGIN LATE SATURDAY NIGHT...BECOME HEAVY ON
SUNDAY...THEN TAPER OFF TO SNOW SHOWERS SUNDAY NIGHT AND MONDAY.
BLIZZARD CONDITIONS WILL THEN BEGIN SUNDAY NIGHT AND PERSIST
THROUGH MONDAY AS NORTHWEST WINDS STRENGTHEN TO AROUND 30
MPH...WITH GUSTS NEAR 40 MPH.

* MAIN IMPACTS: HEAVY WET SNOW WILL CAUSE POOR DRIVING CONDITIONS
ON SUNDAY...AND THE STRONG WINDS WILL LEAD TO CONSIDERABLE
BLOWING AND DRIFTING SNOW...RESULTING IN WHITE OUT CONDITIONS IN
SOME AREAS SUNDAY NIGHT. TRAVEL WILL LIKELY BE DIFFICULT THROUGH
MONDAY.

So, yeah. They are recommending no travel except in emergencies once this thing begins. Still, you never know exactly where or how a storm will hit. One local forecast for my hometown says just 1-2" of snow. It's Minnesota. That's nothing.

And I do have a 4-wheel drive vehicle.

But another forecast says 12-16" of snow and high, visibility-blocking winds. In other words, a full on blizzard.

The plan:

Although I could head to Minneapolis today to get in ahead of Orko (the storm's given name as dubbed by The Weather Channel), I think I'll wait until morning to make the call. If roads and the forecast look decent, I'll be on my way. And if  the weather picks up and I get stranded in the Cities, I'll just have to miss work on Sunday night and school on Monday.

In preparation, I've left lesson plans on my desk. But the truth is, if it's too nasty for me to travel home Sunday night or Monday morning, there's a good chance it'll be too nasty to have school Monday anyway.

We'll have to wait to see what the end of this story is. The Blizzard, or No Blizzard. Climax, or anti-climax.

Good thing I'm a glass-half full person. No matter the ending, it'll be a blessing.

Progress on New Year's Resolutions

January is almost over, and it's time to revisit my New Year's Resolutions.

1: No-TV January has been a success! I cheated one time, to see the end of Project Runway All-Stars (while fortuitously clearing a bit of space on the DVR). But I'm holding firm on avoiding television into the last week. Next Friday night and Saturday morning will probably find me birthday-weekend-binge-festing on shows I've taped.

But the truth is, I wouldn't be too sad if my DVR fritzed out and all the shows were lost. There are only only two programs I'd seek on DVD later: Downton Abbey and Merlin. I'd survive fine not knowing what happened on the others.

I've spent my newly found free time watching movies (including all the Hornblower, Firefly/Serenity, and Lord of the Rings discs from my shelves), reading for enjoyment (the stack of books I bought in August has finally been conquered), looking at various sites online (Ted lectures, Crash Course videos, and Lynda.com training videos), and correcting student work (editing major papers in all 5 classes, some using Google docs, which takes FOREVER). The reading, especially, has been a revelation. I always feel like I don't have time to indulge until summer. Turns out I do.

I don't think I've made a life changing decision akin to the "Start my own publishing business!" of February 2011, but lately I've come across quite a few inspirational quotes and stories that encourage me to continue teaching with enthusiasm, knowing that the work I do with kids is important. Not so much the teaching of grammar and reading strategies, more the importance of personal contact and impact outside of the Language Arts curriculum. Where I usually lose my focus in that respect during the dark months of winter and feel like I'm deep in the school year tunnel, no light to be seen until the March thaw, I am heads-up happy to be face to face with the new generation. (Most days.)

2: Better habits regarding my nails. Epic Fail.

3: Using my treadmill desk every day. Three valiant efforts, and then Epic Fail.

4: Learning Illustrator and/or Photoshop. Semi-successful. Here is a show and tell to prove it:

I made invitations to my birthday party, using Adobe Illustrator to create the balloons. I have to admit to defaulting to Adobe InDesign (I love you, ID) for the overall design, but I couldn't have done the little twisties on the balloons without Ai.


5: Posting more regularly on this blog. Once a week! Yeah!

Although I suppose 50% is not considered passing in most realms, I consider my 2.5/5 a stunning success. I plan to continue Resolution #4 and #5 into February, so maybe I'll share more art on this blog as I create it.  I hope your New Year's Resolutions are going well and you find yourself bravely creating and impacting the lives of others!

Signs of a "Good Book"

From Will Schwalbe's The End of Your Life Book Club, pages 42-3:

"One of the many things I love about bound books is their sheer physicality. Electronic books live out of sight and out of mind. But printed books have body, presence. Sure, sometimes they'll elude you by hiding in improbable places: in a box full of old picture frames, say, or in the laundry basket, wrapped in a sweatshirt. But at other times they'll confront you, and you'll literally stumble over some tomes you hadn't thought about in weeks or years. I often seek electronic books, but they never come after me. They make me feel, but I can't feel them. They are all soul with no flesh, no texture, and no weight. They can get in your head but can't whack you upside it.

Ahh.

I started Mr. Schwalbe's book late this afternoon, and I've dogeared 10 of the 48 pages I've read. A good sign, I think. This one will be hard to put down.


Before letting myself start the Schwalbe, which had been coming after me for the past week, I forced myself to finish the two other books I was reading.


The first of the finished books was volume three of that series all of us ladies read last summer -- the one which was delightfully lampooned on SNL as the ultimate Mother's Day gift. You know the books of which I speak. I had stopped reading that final book in the series when school started, and despite a serious lack of interest in finishing... Well, No-television January means either doing the unpleasant jobs on my to-do list (taxes, cleaning closets) or distracting myself by finishing whatever books are lying around unfinished. And, like I said, the Schwalbe was coming after me.

I had purchased the ebook to read on my Kindle, and that probably had something to do with my being able to set it aside for so long. It hadn't come after me.

The second of the finished books was P. D. James' lovely Death Comes to Pemberley. The prologue alone -- wherein James retells Pride and Prejudice in ten quick pages, deftly mimicking Austen while casting aspersions on the tale by taking the point of view of a village gossip -- was worth the cost of the book.

Upon turning the last page, I felt the grief of the reader -- the sad fog that fills one's day after bidding adieu to beloved friends. Another good sign.

PS My sadness was exponential as The Lizzie Bennet Diaries are coming to a close before too long. I'll be saying goodbye to Elizabeth and Darcy again within the month. Sniff.

Small Town Book Club Thoughts

One nice thing about living in a small town is that I get to be friends with people with whom most people don't. Like my doctors and dentist and community leaders and owners of and workers at the businesses I frequent and my boss(es) and local law enforcement... You get the picture.

The people, I imagine, that most residents who live in larger cities would consider acquaintances or less -- merely members of the world who exist as background to their days.

But I get to be actual friends with these people. It's pretty cool.

So at book club last night, my dental hygienist (and friend!) Anne told me she had just finished SPOTD: The Hero Chronicle Continues and loved it. I do too. I love the characters, and I love the fun powers that Chase gets to play with in volume 2. I love the story's dramatic arc, and I love the direction the book heads leading up to volume 3. Most of all, I love that the world the characters inhabit, though imperfect, feels safe. There is no question that Chase, Addy, Charlie, Johnny, and Kat are loved. And that love makes their world secure, even when things go terribly wrong.

I'm glad that my book is next on the list of books to be read by my friends. Especially after the book we just finished. You see, for book club this week, we read Laura Hillenbrand's Unbroken, and although the group enjoyed the book and talking about it, we were left with a sense of sadness over the evil so easily to be found in our world. The story is heartbreakingly brutal, forcing us to face the inhumanity that can occur when people stop recognizing others as people deserving of love and security. When people become merely background.

Happily, we are able to find our humanity and the joy of connection with each other. That's a great part of being in a book club. Especially one in a small town.